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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528023">The sky at dusk was painted with our love.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigma_scars/pseuds/enigma_scars'>enigma_scars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1989, Awkward Dates, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, HQ Rarepair Bang 2020, M/M, Mutual Pining, Summer Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:01:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23528023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigma_scars/pseuds/enigma_scars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>That summer, he started looking at Oikawa in a different light.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>HQ Rarepair Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The sky at dusk was painted with our love.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HELLO! WELCOME TO THIS FIC-</p>
<p>Sorry, I am just a little excited, since this fic has been very dear to me even before I started actually writing it. The idea behind it is something really small, and common, a trope we are all very used to, but I really did love the idea when I started writing it, and it only enhanced from there on. </p>
<p>I had immense support from friends and the opportunity itself was handed to me by the mods at HQ Rarepair Bang.</p>
<p>I'd like to give most of the credit for my motivation to the artist who has given the amazing art piece for this fic, Yi https://thegreencarousel.tumblr.com/ ; without whom Id not have regained my confidence to finish this fic in time. </p>
<p>Thank you everyone!</p>
<p>LOVE,<br/>M.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the humid air, the smell of icy hot, cheap room freshner, sweat, determination, perseverance, and dreams both crushed and seen greeted him. His eyes were unlooking, he had only one goal in mind: to win and go forward. With the current division of matches, when he would finish his last one, so would the <em> other </em> , he thinks to himself. They talk strategy, they talk about dreams and there is a speech on good sportsmanship, but he barely pays attention. His eyes look for <em> him </em>. But he is quick to look away. </p>
<p>The day passes with three back to back matches. But he never faces <em> him </em> . There’s slight worry bubbling in his chest, and the worry turns out right. <em> His </em> team never made it to the finals. After 6 years of constantly seeing each other there, across the net, this year would be the first he wouldn’t see <em> him </em> there. The respect he held for <em> him </em> was never changing, but the other had always misunderstood him, he wasn’t going to change his course now.</p>
<p>On his way back to where his team was he crosses paths like fate herself forcing them to meet. They each stood across each other. <em> His </em> tear stained face was the first he saw, he had never before seen <em> him </em> cry, he felt such emotions were pathetic, he thought he could have done better, he cursed the other’s teams efforts, <em> ‘They weren't enough for you to win!’ </em>he told him. He got shut off quicker than he had stated. </p>
<p><em> ‘As if you would understand.’ </em>  the other’s voice was poison. He didn’t like the misunderstanding, for years they had fought like this, how much longer? He wondered. <em> ‘Your pride refuses you from seeing the truth.’ </em> he ushered. <em> ‘Pride? What do you know about my pride!’ </em> He had shouted, his face graver than ever, honestly he looked scarier than he ever had. The conversation had gone way worse than he had imagined, but he was known to lack the obvious social skills, but what he does remember was when <em> he </em> walked away, <em> he </em> said only one last thing, <em> “Don’t you dare forget my worthless pride.” </em></p>
<p>He felt the hurt. But he had chosen to ignore it and focus on his match the next day. He had to qualify through the finals. He had to win, he had to show him that he was much better, that his choices had been wrong, that if he had chosen him, the result would have been different.</p>
<p>He doesn’t sleep well at night. He tumbles around, he tosses and turns and sighs a ton, while his roommate had already moved out, unable to stay with his noises any more. He woke up at four to go run, then he went to the gym and he tossed his ball around till he no longer felt his insides jumbling. Two pairs of peeking eyes already caught his unrest, he was aware, but he’d rather not have that conversation now. He had a match to win.</p>
<p>Time for the match couldn’t have turned around later than it already had, it had taken its sweet time and rolled around at it’s pace. While half the gym was filled with cheerleaders from the school, the other half was filled with the opposing team’s cheer squad. Small fries like this don’t deserve to be cheered on, he made up his mind.</p>
<p>Pointed daggers dug into his back, someone’s stare was cutting through him. He didn’t spare a glance, he went about the match, taking points upon points, scoring as many as he could. He jumped, he squatted, he fell, he stood up again. This match turned out to be especially annoying, small fry like this did annoy him, they were too optimistic, he was going to win, and he was going to go to the nationals, he was going to show<em> him </em>what mistakes he made.</p>
<p>It didn’t happen. Like a stone against a glass wall, the dreams of nationals shattered. Like a million marbles scattering on white shiny floors, his dreams crumbled. He was shocked. He was stunned. But he accepted his fate.</p>
<p>He lost.</p>
<p>He laughed at this irony. Small fry took a big bite out of him. He wished them good luck. He apologized to his team. He apologized to his coach and the supervisor, he apologized to the crowd that had assembled to watch him win, who to him seemed to be now standing disappointed in him. He smiled at his best friend who told him he’d quit now. </p>
<p>Did he regret this? Perhaps. Would he have done a million things a different way? Yes. Could he? Never again.</p>
<p>One quick glance to the stands answers more questions than he had. <em> He </em> had been sitting there, crouching like a cat, sitting atop the last row, staring down at him, finally able to have the last laugh. He looked away with a heavy heart and a smile upon his lips, he lost more than just a petty fight.</p><hr/>
<p>He packed his bags. One more month and then graduation, he thought. But that is not what he was packing his bags for. He was packing his bags to go home for the night. He informed the matron that he’d be going for the night, he’d be back in the morning before school. </p>
<p>It was past 8 in the evening when he stepped out wearing the school tracksuit and his sports shoes. His bag trailed after him as he walked out the gates. He wasn’t expecting to be met with <em> him </em> standing there. What was he doing here? His house was on the other side of the mountain, and an easy 30 minute train ride from here. </p>
<p>He greets him with a subtle surprise but a cold tone as always. “Oikawa did you lose your way home? Or have you come here to mock me?” he questions without a single tension in his facial muscles. </p>
<p>“Oi oi. I haven’t come here to only rub some salt in your wounds. Treat a companion better, will you Ushiwaka baka-chan?” He said in his usual teasing manner, offering a hand for Ushijima to shake on.</p>
<p>Ushijima took his hand and shook it, resembling a child in the dark evening with the streetlights illuminating the back of his head. “I get it, you could have done so at the gym. Why come all the way across town for it?” He questioned starting to walk down the long winding road it was towards the station.</p>
<p>Oikawa followed him, he was still wearing his glasses and the jacket and beanie, he removes it and stuffs it into his pocket. “Were you kicked out or something? Ace Ushiwaka, kicked out of the S’torizawa Dorms for failing to win the spring qualifiers. How sad. What ever will you do now, you big homeless bear?” Even though his words sounded bitter, they were those of genuine concern.</p>
<p>“You didn’t bother to answer my question, and yet you have the time to ask me questions.” He glanced at Oikawa once as he strode down the road at a slower pace than his usual, opting Oikawa’s pace instead. “I am simply headed home for the night. I didn’t want to stay in the dorms tonight.”  he looked away.</p>
<p>Oikawa nods, seemingly sated with that answer. He stops at a vending machine and buys two hot chocolates from it, offering one to Ushijima.”Take it easy you bear. You’ve deserved this drink from me.” Oikawa says, hiding his face from Ushijima as he takes the sip. He thought Ushijima would be more heartbroken or bitter, but he knew the other was more mature than that.</p>
<p>Ushijima wondered when they had become so close, to walk home like it's routine, to talk like best friends, to share their pain, to share their laughter, to share worries eating away at each other’s heart. “I really thought you were here to finally answer me with a slap for saying all those awful things for years. I still remember what your ace used to say, ‘The stronger six will always win’, I have to make amends with you and him for this awful “fight” we have had for the past six years.” He said, turning to Oikawa, sipping from the can. </p>
<p>Oikawa sighed as he put the can away from his lips, throwing it away, aiming at the trashcan and succeeding. He stared at Ushijima. “Ushiwaka-chan, this fight was petty because i chose to make it, we both realize how this was stupid, and now that we both agree it was dumb, and we can grow past it. We shook on it already, what’s so bad about it now? You lost, I lost, we all lost, to those who deserved to win.” He shrugged.</p>
<p>Oikawa steps closer to Ushijima and pats his chest. “You are either strong or very dumb, I cried for so long after we lost, Iwa-chan smacked me for wetting his jacket. Yet here you stand, smiling at your arch-nemesis like we are lovers from another life.” Oikawa said, sliding his glasses up his nose, staring into Ushiwaka’s olive eyes, his hand slipped into Ushijima’s wet hair,  he sighed.</p>
<p>Ushijima’s eyes stuck to the way Oikawa’s eyes sized him up, how the other spoke so slowly, his lips moving with the words he spoke, he wants to do something he never thought of before, to overpower Oikawa, to push him, to do something he didn’t want to do, he felt the need claw at him, so he clasps his hand around Oikawa’s that was in his hair, dawdling. He snaps out of it and wonders what he was doing. He lets go of Oikawa’s hand.</p>
<p>Oikawa realizes something too and lets go of the other's hair too, coughing as he starts walking, “Don’t we have a train to catch?” He says, looking back with a pointed glance towards Ushijima as he walks ahead, now putting his beanie on. “Walk faster Ushiwaka, I don’t have the entire night to spend.” he looked forward as he walked swiftly ahead.</p>
<p>Ushijima shook his head as he followed oikawa down the road, matching his pace as he dragged the bag behind him. He saw the others hair bounce as he walked, long strides, confident and personable for once. It was a back he wanted to see more often, walking ahead and he wanted to follow him. He'd have followed Oikawa anywhere into that night if Oikawa had wanted, and Ushijima realized with every passing second, every shared moment that for years what he had named as rivalry and enmity was something else, something more, something…. Something not enmity, something pleasant. He smiled at the ground in realization as he walked forward.</p><hr/>
<p>The station comes too quick and he has to blame it on the time constraints, but he looks away from Oikawa as they stand alone on the seemingly empty platform. The train is scheduled to come in seven minutes and he stared at the rails, counting the knobs that locked the rails down. He doesn't speak up, and the silence is so comfortable between them, there's no need for words to.be exchanged. But Oikawa speaks after five minutes have passed. "Give me your mail id." Oikawa says. "Don't think you'd get rid of me so soon. I've chased your back for six years. There's no time for you to disappear from my eyesight." Oikawa says turning to him and walking closer. He pushes a finger in Ushijima's chest and tries to hide his own face that was getting redder now that he had finally spoken his mind. </p>
<p>Before an appropriate response can be made the train comes and there's just enough time for Ushijima to tell him his Id. "Wakatoshi_0101." He replies as the train stops infront of them. "You better mail me something." He says as he gets on the train, Oikawa gets it down but he smirks, "You'll see. I waited 6 years, you can wait a day." He raises his hand to bid goodbye as the door closed, separating them. Ushijima bent down to wave as the train left the station. Oikawa turned around to walk back to the bus station. He didn't have a connecting train from this station. What a drag, he really went through all this trouble just to get one mail id? He thought but also he couldn't explain the erratic beating of his heart or the heat in his cheeks or his sweaty hands or why he was smiling like he had accomplished something.</p><hr/>
<p>It's the evening of the graduation. And this time it was a looming darkness that bloomed in the skies of spring. </p>
<p>From: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>To: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>Sub: Congratulations.</p>
<p>I see you have graduated top of your batch. I am sure a wonderful future awaits you. I will speak to you soon.</p>
<p>-Ushijima.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>To: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>Sub: Dummywaka.</p>
<p>Of course I graduated at the top, there's not much that awaits me Ushiwaka. But I know there's the last spring of my life as a schoolboy. And there's things I can only do now. What do you say to accompanying me? It's a once in a lifetime chance to let loose and make all the mistakes you've never made. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And it's see you soon, not speak to you soon, you rarely ever do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-Tooru.</p><hr/>
<p>Graduation had been teary and heartwarming for many, but for some it was just another level completed to step into the next one in life. But Ushijima found himself in neither of these categories. Rather he was stuck in the pre-game, with Oikawa, and he did not contemplate much before he accepted Oikawa's offer to live the best springs of their lives. He had no expectations, neither the experience to hold expectations. He didn't know what they were going to do, he just knew he was going to go with Oikawa, anywhere the other wanted to go; to tell themselves a good lie, to make mistakes, to make the best memories of his life with the man whose back he's seen for the first time in years and has now wanted to follow for life. </p><hr/>
<p>On the third day after break really starts, he gets a mail saying that there's something on his doorstep he needs to check out. When he opens the door Oikawa's standing there in a summer attire which would have looked absurd on anyone else but him… sea green shorts and navy blue striped tee, with a straw hat and his pair of glasses. </p>
<p>"Ah, I got the right address! Haha! Let me in!" He says with the widest smile on earth, it was comical coming from Oikawa. Ushijima just tilts his head in confusion but lets him in. "How did you know where I live?" He asks as he makes Oikawa follow him to the living room. "Anyway, take a seat, I will get you some water." He says as he walks into the kitchen but he is promptly stopped.</p>
<p>"No, no! Dress up! We need to go, or the aquarium will close! It's closeby to your house so I thought I'd pick you up on my way. Come on, let's go. I want to touch an octopus and a turtle. Come on ushiwaka, there's no time to waste drinking water." He says as he stands up and tugs at Ushijima's wrist.</p>
<p>"I need to change then." Ushijima says, confused again why Oikawa's wanted to go to the aquarium for, his reason was childish and— ah, he was not supposed to be judging, this was the spring/summer of his life, wasn't it? "Or we can go just like this, your impatient face says that if I had actually acted upon my wish to change into something more presentable you'd have cut my arm off." Ushijima can't help but shake his head as he picked up his wallet and keys before stepping out of the house with Oikawa ahead of him, skipping out of there like a kid in the park. It was a beautiful sight to see.</p>
<p>Oikawa snaps his fingers and says, "Bingo. If you would have delayed me any longer, you'd have shed blood." He looks absolutely serious when he says that and he slips his hat onto Ushijima's head as he skips forward leading them to the aquarium. "By the way you are buying us ice creams. Guess my favorite flavour and if you get it wrong, I will punch you." Oikawa says poking his tongue out as he casually skipped forward, not waiting for ushi.</p>
<p>Ushijima was quick to pick pace as he followed Oikawa. To unspying, unseeking eyes, it seemed like two boys going to the aquarium, to have a jolly time, but to two hearts it was more. </p>
<p>Oikawa had paid the toll of mental agony and persistent over thinking before he had the actual nerve to go up to Ushijima's doorstep to ask him to go to the aquarium like they were sixth graders on a date. And Ushijima had paid the toll of not being able to do anything even when he wanted to do so much. Wanting to touch Oikawa's head, and hold his hand or pinch his cheeks to see how they'd redden under the pressure or simply hug Oikawa to see how his front fit against his wide chest overwhelmed him, but he spoke nothing, he did nothing, he walked ahead, right beside Oikawa, pretending like his heart's deepest desire wasn't just walking next to him.</p>
<p>He buys them both ice-cream and he guesses that Oikawa's would be cherry pop, he was proved correct when Oikawa tilted his head in doubt and called him a stalker. "Weirdo. How did you guess?" He had asked, but Ushijima had simply raised his finger to explain before he was shut down. "Explain that to the woman you marry, how you knew your rival's favourite popsicle flavour without ever having a conversation over it." Before he had stood in line and handed their tickets to the gatekeeper who then let them in. </p>
<p>They see many fishes and Ushijima can't help but stare at Oikawa instead of the colourful tropical fishes, as the aquarium's blue theme collided with Oikawa and created a vision Ushijima wasn't sure how he could explain better than a mirage to a thirsty man. Oikawa looked like he belonged in the water, a water fairy looking right at home with the blue lights fading and his face becoming clear. His eyes shone with the glimmering water, but Ushijima was sure there were stars stuck in his eyes.</p>
<p>When they reached the open tank, Oikawa awaited his turn but he kept ushi close when his actual turn to touch a sea snake came. He grabbed onto Ushijima's wrist again and his grip tightened as he is allowed to touch the snake. Ushijima whispers into his ear as he sees the sweat beads roll off his forehead and his tense movements. "It's fine. It won't bite. It won't hurt. It's just a snake." Which somehow makes his grip on Ushijima harder, but he did manage to touch the snake. He smiles at Ushijima as he manages to touch other creatures as well next. A starfish, a snail, a slug, an octopus, a turtle. He had fun; he looked like he had fun and when it was time to finally leave he wasn't ready.</p>
<p>They hadn't spoken a lot the whole day. Oikawa had stared at fishes and listed things he knew about them and read more on the little board in front of each tank. He had occasionally glanced at Ushijima and scolded him for not paying good attention to what he was speaking. Ushijima had smiled sheepishly, wondering how the other could tell, but he had carelessly missed out on the faint blush Oikawa had on the whole day, solely because Oikawa had caught Ushijima staring at him with a distant sad smile the whole day.</p>
<p>They share a bowl of shaved ice at a cart later on the evening when the beetles have stopped chirping and the insects had started chirping in the grass. The sun had barely set and the stars were out and bright. The walk back to the railway station is quiet and filled with hums and whistles, when Ushijima breaks it, "At the end of this summer, I want to light fireworks with you on my favorite hill." </p>
<p>That startles Oikawa a little, not the words themselves, but the determination and the demand behind the words. He smiles at the ground and elbows Ushijima's ribs, "Of course. I'd have come even without you asking." He said, glad that the streetlights were spaced farther so he had 50 seconds to gain back his lost composure. Ushijima doesn't understand, but that doesn't stop him from smiling like he just conquered something big.</p>
<p>"Give me your address, I will see you later." He tells Oikawa when they reach the station and Oikawa clicks his tongue. "No. You know the station I stay around. Wait for me there, whenever it is you want me to come, and we will go wherever you want to together." Oikawy says as the train pulls into the station. Ushijima nods as he raises his hand to bid goodbye, but Oikawa slaps his hand with his own as a goodbye clap, before he rushes onto the train. "Keep my hat safe." He says as the door closes and it separates them again.</p><hr/>
<p>As promised he had stood at the gates of the station, waiting for Oikawa to arrive. He had worn some of his best clothes that suited the summer heat they were in. A magenta shirt with the top three buttons undone, a pair of see through sunglasses, styled dishevelled hair and dark pants to go with it; and unforgettably he had Oikawa’s hat on, while he carried a simple picnic basket in hand along with another straw hat, one he had bought after the aquarium visit, because he wanted to match Oikawa. Wakatoshi’s father dressed him up because he knew his son was rather hopeless.</p>
<p>When Oikawa hopped along, Ushijima forgot how to breathe for ten whole seconds as he took in Oikawa’s appearance. Dishevelled hazel hair, styled like it usually was, a plain white silk shirt unbuttoned like Ushijima, tucked into dark jean pants, he wore no sunglasses, but he had a ribbon tied to his wrist, and he looked magnificent. Ushijima breathed in his gasp of surprise, not wanting to give up any hint of discomposure.</p>
<p>“So where are we going?” Is the first thing Oikawa asks him, his hands on his hips and a suspicious look in his eyes. Had Oikawa caught on to his subtle surprise, he wouldn't have put it past him, but he remained cautious. </p>
<p>Oikawa was proud of himself when he was exiting his house, his sister telling him he was out to kill with how he had dressed, and that had put him in the best of moods, he was out to kill, out to kill one annoying giant with obvious lack of social skills and even worse observation. But that crushed the minute he saw Ushijima leaning on the pillar at the gate’s entrance, waiting for him, like he was some actor that stepped out of a dreamland. Tch, who knew Ushijima could look like this, definitely not Oikawa.</p>
<p>“There’s a shrine on top of a mountain, past your school and past the groves. There’s cherry blossoms blooming there, and I know you would like to spend a day in peace.” He says with confidence, a small hint of a smile lurking on his lips.</p>
<p>Oikawa looks at him through his see through glasses and smiles subtly, “Sure. Lead the way.” He says as he straightens up, following after Ushijima. They walk in silence, something that has become second nature for their meetings. Ushijima doesn’t hate it, he rather enjoys it, and for once Oikawa doesn’t have to open his mouth or be bitter to Ushijima, so he enjoys the time they spend in silence, he got used to it soon enough.</p>
<p>When they reach the top, Ushijima asks Oikawa if he would like to pray at the shrine, and Oikawa nods and agrees, praying at the shrine before they found a beautiful place to relax a little behind the shrine grounds. There was an open space past the cherry blossoms, levelled ground with the best view in the whole city, they could overlook the entire city from there and Oikawa smiled a genuines smile, not hiding it from Ushijima. </p>
<p>Ushijima lays out the blanket and takes a seat, inviting Oikawa to do the same. They sit a little bit farther than each other, the basket sitting perfectly in between them. There’s not another soul except for a far away shop keeper, selling his wares to people, his voice fading in the background as the wind blows over them, the trees dance in slow tandem, just like the midday sun cast shadows over them, and their hearts strummed to the tune the sky played.</p>
<p>And then he realized something… and it wasn’t so bad having finally realized it.</p>
<p>That summer, he started looking at Oikawa in a different light.</p>
<p>When they shared a picnic lunch on the cliffside, the sun shined on him like it was it's only purpose. The tree leaves cascaded shaped shadows over him, their silhouette did nothing to decrease the raging heart ache it had started giving Ushijima who sat not two feet away, under the same sun, under the same tree, sharing the same blanket.</p>
<p>The other was gazing over the grass and the cliff, not paying attention to Ushijima. But Ushijima couldn't help it and fell back to watching Oikawa who looked over and beyond the cliff, all the while the silhouettes over his face and the random cherry blossom in his hair made him every bit as endearing as one could imagine. </p>
<p>He wanted to kiss those full pink lips and he hoped that he wasn't being too forward when he took Oikawa's hand in his, limiting himself to this instead. He looked away before getting caught, a small smile adorning his lips as he waited for Oikawa to pull away. But he never did, so Ushijima moved his head back to watching him.</p>
<p>The curve of his lips, the slant of his nose, the delicately opened eyes; had Oikawa always been this delicate or was this something else? Under the summer sky, that summer afternoon, Ushijima realized just how much he really loved Oikawa Tooru, and it wasn’t such a bad feeling after all.</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <a href="https://thegreencarousel.tumblr.com/">thegreencarousel.tumblr.com</a>
</p><hr/>
<p>They spent a lot of time at the shrine, they ate fruits that Ushijima had brought along, but that was all he had planned and Oikawa laughed at his expense, only to stand up and extend his hand for Ushijima to take, the day had barely started, and Tooru wouldn’t admit it, but he was having the time of his life.</p>
<p>“Say Waka, why did we fight so much back in school?” He asked as they sat on the lower steps of the shrine, enjoying popsicles again. And Wakatoshi had to take a deep breath to stop from making any unnecessary sounds at the newfound nickname. “I wouldn’t know Tooru… We were just ambitious and proud. And we thought we deserved the world in the palm of our hands.” He replies, wondering as he looks up at the afternoon sun, wondering exactly what it was they were doing back then?</p>
<p>“Would you change anything about it?” Oikawa asks as he gets up to throw away the popsicle stick. </p>
<p>Ushijima takes a moment to consider,”There are things I wish I could change…” He answers honestly, standing up to do the same, washing his hands at a tap there. He wipes his hand awaiting Oikawa to say something more, meanwhile he picks up their stuff to walk over to where Oikawa wanted to go.</p>
<p>“Would you change anything about us?” He asked, but he looked at Ushijima, staring into his eyes and wanting a genuine answer, his fear of something, <em> something, </em> really shone out in his eyes. </p>
<p>Ushijima is silent for a minute, standing still, unspeaking. Oikawa has a bead of sweat roll down his forehead, Ushijima walks closer to him with a sad smile and puts the hat he had bought on Oikawa’s head; he had learnt that the other hated being seen when vulnerable and so he walked forward with one hand in his pocket as he whispered, “I would have learnt to say sorry more often.” He said.</p>
<p>Oikawa looked up in shock, tears stinging his eyes, he smiled as he ran closer to Ushijima, slapping his back. “Don’t pity the me in the past, don’t you dare.” Oikawa said, not looking up at Ushijima. </p>
<p>Ushijima’s eyes widened at that. “It's not pity. It’s an honest apology.” He says earnestly as he puts his hand on top of the other’s hat, pushing his head back to look at his face.</p>
<p>He wasn’t expecting there to be tears, and red rimmed eyes peeking from underneath. He doesn't say anything, simply offering his handkerchief to Tooru. He continues to walk ahead once Tooru’s stopped crying. “What the hell Waka? Who made you such a brute on the other side of the net and a gentleman with nothing between us?” Oikawa asked in a teasing accusation.</p>
<p>“I guess it would be my dad… but my mom had a hand in it too. Though if you ask about my fashion that would be my dad, he dressed me today, said my date must have a gentleman at hand, not a sportsman.” He said simply.</p>
<p>Oikawa couldn’t help but laugh. “Something is really right with this world, and in this moment it’s how innocent you are.” Oikawa said with a wide smile, his nose scrunched and his eyes closed and Ushijima instinctively pulled Oikawa’s nose with his index and middle finger, not realizing just what he had done. Oikawa stops laughing and looks at Ushijima who pulls his fingers back, but before he could say something, Oikawa blushes and lowers his eyes, walking quicker, “I am hungry, let me take you to my favourite place.”</p><hr/>
<p>Lunch takes place in a small family run cafe, but it has the best ambience Ushijima has ever seen, and Oikawa doesn’t stop boasting, “Hey hey, I bet you’ve never been to such a beautiful cafe before. Of course you haven’t Waka, you don’t really have a taste for the finer things in life after all, you look like the grandpa who has boiled vegetables every night.” Oikawa teased him.</p>
<p>Ushijima tilts his head in confusion again. “But boiled vegetables are good for your health and they ensure your health while also being capable of being seasoned well, and-” Oikawa stops him by speaking over him, “Alright grandpa, I opened the road to a great pick up line for you, but you have to go into the facts of the matter, what are you a straightforward advocate huh?” </p>
<p>“No, but it’s a career path I have kept open for myself in case-”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, will you quit talking about career paths? Didn’t we just graduate last week or so?”</p>
<p>“No, it has been over 11 days now.”</p>
<p>“....”</p>
<p>“Hmm?” </p>
<p>“Oh shut up, you freak.” Tooru pouts, he was still only teasing, and acting like this in good humour, he hoped that he got through with Ushijima.</p>
<p>Ushijima chuckled, “you have no right calling me a freak, you were terrible to play against, your serves? Your sets, your impeccable play? Your technique? You were a monster. In no way am I a freak, you are. And that was part of the reason why we always fought, because I wanted to have you by my side, because when a formidable enemy becomes a formidable ally, there is nothing better to this world.” </p>
<p>Oikawa was rendered speechless by it, and he didn’t really want to comment on it again, lest his face become any more visibly red. Luckily he is saved by the server who serves them food.</p>
<p>They begin to eat in silence, praying before they start, a habit both of them seemed to share, Oikawa rolled his eyes at how proper Ushijima was, putting the napkin over his lap and drinking only with his right hand, while he ate with his left and keeping his mouth closed, his orderliness annoyed oikawa as he saw more and more and then there was that one grain of rice on Ushijima’s cheek that he would have gotten to tease him about if Ushijima hadn’t extended his hand and wiped a bead of sauce on Oikawa’s bottom lip, close to dripping on his chin, with his thumb with a soft smile, the kind the other had given him at the shrine, and Oikawa is rendered useless with how delicately Ushijima had whispered, “careful.” before he had wiped his finger on his napkin and gone about eating. And maybe, <em> maybe </em>, Oikawa didn’t hate it as much as he made it sound after they had left the place.</p><hr/>
<p>From: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>To: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>Sub: Meeting.</p>
<p>I got your mail earlier, I see you wish to go to the beach. It would be a train side and then a bus ride away, I am grateful for the invitation. When shall we go and where am I picking you from?</p>
<p>-Waka</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>To: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>Sub: Dum Dum No. 1</p>
<p>Eh, why are you always so formal, it is just us two, dumbass. </p>
<p>Anyway, I can drive us there. No need for bus rides and train rides. I have my license. So I will pick you up from the station and then we can go. We are staying overnight at the hotel there, so pack accordingly. </p>
<p>-Tooru</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>To: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>Sub: Agreement.</p>
<p>I see you have made the appropriate arrangements. Well then, I shall see you at the station and xx at 6.30am. Speak to you soon.</p>
<p>-Waka</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From: **Tooru_sama**</p>
<p>To: **Wakatoshi_0101**</p>
<p>Sub: Dummy Waka.</p>
<p>Of course I made the appropriate arrangements, who do you think I am?</p>
<p>Wait, don’t answer that.</p>
<p>And how many times should I say, it's see you soon, not speak to you soon, you rarely ever do.</p>
<p>-Tooru.</p><hr/>
<p>When they arrive at the beach, Oikawa gets them checked into a nearby hotel, one which gave them discounts on his dad’s card. And Ushijima insisted he pay his half, but Oikawa sent him away to go stare at the sea. Ushijima complied. </p>
<p>When they are shown the room, it’s a twin bed room, and they both claim their own, putting away their bags, Oikawa goes to the washroom to change, while Ushijima changes in there. When they are both done, they steal glances at each other while they decide what stuff to take. </p>
<p>“That’s an inflatable ‘bed’?” Ushijima asked as he saw the thing Oikawa was carrying. </p>
<p>“Mhm, it’s for when I am too tired and just want to float.” He answers with pursed lips.</p>
<p>“Okay, and that’s a parasol?” </p>
<p>“What does it look like?” He snickered.</p>
<p>“Right, do you have a mat? Or should I carry both of mine?” </p>
<p>“Oh shit, I forgot. Grab yours please. And take your sunscreen, I am not putting up with your sunburn.”</p>
<p>“You won’t have to, but I'd gladly take care of you if you accidentally burn.” The smile on his lips was genuine, Oikawa couldn't help but snicker at that genuineness.</p>
<p>After the bicker back and forth between what to take and what not to take, they manage to get out of the room, and onto the sunny, sandy beach. </p>
<p>Ushijima sets up where they would rest, and Oikawa, although he said he wouldn’t, he massages the sunscreen all over Ushijima’s back and shoulders, even putting some on his chest, and huffing when he saw Ushijima hold in a laugh. </p>
<p>“I am sorry, it’s just, you said you wouldn’t but here you are.” He said, a soft chuckle still spilling out of him.</p>
<p>Oikawa is stunned at the sound, and then he is embarrassed about how he had just touched Ushijima without any qualms. He couldn’t help but duck his face under his hat and glasses, thinking of running away after Ushijima offered to return his favour. But he didn’t, he handed the cream and sat down between Ushijima’s legs and tried his best to keep any embarrassing sounds inside when he first felt the other’s warm hands touch his shoulders, and then big wide hands massaged the sunscreen onto his back and he has to wonder how touch starved was he that Ushijima’s hands had brought him to his hypothetical knees.</p>
<p>After Oikawa blames the sun for the redness of his face and Ushijima insisting on him drinking more water, Ushijima asks him if he wanted to go swim now, but Oikawa pokes his tongue out in teasing and said, “No, you go swim, I will watch you like a creep.” He hadn’t meant that literally, but like the dozen other people, he too had found himself fanning himself with his sunglasses removed when he saw Ushijima dive and come back up, looking like he was a model at a professional shoot, he wouldn’t be surprised, he clicked his tongue, embarrassed when Ushijima caught him staring.</p>
<p>When Ushijima came back he sat on his mat and toweled off. “I thought you wouldn’t live upto your word, but you proved me wrong.”</p>
<p>“O-oh yeah! Of course I am a man of my word.” Oikawa had tried to play it off, but the happy glint in Ushijima’s eyes was enough to make Oikawa feel happy about it for a whole minute.</p>
<p>“Ushijima…” Oikawa started, but stopped himself.</p>
<p>“Hmm?” He questioned.</p>
<p>“Nothing. Go buy us two drinks and some watermelon and some snacks or whatever.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to have lunch soon? We did skip breakfast to come here.”</p>
<p>“Yakisoba stall nearby…” Oikawa managed to blurt out, suddenly feeling the dawning realization of his previous reactions and emotions.</p>
<p>“Then I will get us some drinks and stuff, if you want to go take a dip meanwhile. I’ll go.” He stood up, putting on an unbuttoned  patterned shirt and nodding before leaving.</p>
<p>Oikawa takes this chance to go take a dip to cool himself down. ‘What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the-’ his mind kept screaming. ‘What the hell was that? Me, in love? With Ushiwaka? What? What? What?’ He immediately dipped down and held his breath to calm himself, not understanding it at all.</p>
<p>And then he realizes.</p>
<p>The meetings… were dates.</p>
<p>The picnic was a date, the aquarium was a date, the lunch was a date, this was a date. What the hell had been happening? How had he managed to? How? He panicked and let his mouth open and then promptly pulled up to gasp and take several breaths. </p>
<p>“I have been in love with Ushijima Wakatoshi.”</p><hr/>
<p>When he gets out of the water, Ushijima is sitting there, sipping his coconut water can with a fancy straw. He doesn’t look him in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Oi, oi you fancy dick, how did you get that straw?” He asked, using his toweling off as an excuse to not meet his eyes.</p>
<p>“Oh, a girl gave it to me, while I was walking past her sand castle. Her mother insisted I take it, so I got you one as well. Here.” He says as he hands him the straw.</p>
<p>“Handsome bastard.” he murmurs, taking the straw.</p>
<p>“Said something?” Ushijima asked with a small smile.</p>
<p>When had Ushijima the grump started smiling so much, and when had his smile started looking like it was drawn on my angels in heaven? Oikawa squinted as he sat down. Opening his can and sipping from it. </p>
<p>“I got us some fresh cucumbers as well. And the shopkeeper said that if we go past the rocks, there's an alcove on the other side, where we can catch some shellfish. He said they are tasty. And we can make a bonfire at night to roast them on it, or rent a barbecue grill and buy some meat as well…” Ushijima went on, but Oikawa wasn’t listening, his eyes were fixated on the way Ushijima was speaking, a small smile forever etched on his lips, and Oikawa was conflicted.</p>
<p>“Hey are you listening? Do you have a sunstroke? Dizziness? Is something the matter? You zoned out.” And wow was Ushijima really close to him, god if he wasn’t dying before, he was now.</p>
<p>“Did you breathe in the water? You aren’t looking so good, do you want to lie down?” Ushijima kept on.</p>
<p>“When did you start talking so much?” He asked instead of answering anything Ushijima was saying.</p>
<p>That seemed to stop Ushijima.</p>
<p>“Did you hit your head somewhere?” Ushijima asked again.</p>
<p>“No.” Oikawa rolled his eyes, “I am fine, you are just too close to me. It’s hot, don’t trap me.”</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry.” He mumbled as he moved back to sit.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine, shouldn't have snapped, my bad.”</p>
<p>Ushijima doesn't say anything as he sees Oikawa shaking his head with a small smile, he doesn’t understand Oikawa’s reaction.</p>
<p>“You should talk and smile often, maybe some girl will finally give into your charms.”</p>
<p>Ushijima looks away and sips at his drink instead, acting like he didn’t hear that.</p>
<p>Oikawa realizes he said something that brought a churn of his stomach and an awful taste on his tongue. Jealousy really wasn’t his strongest suit.</p>
<p>“The cucumbers are nice.”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>“....”</p>
<p>“....”</p>
<p>“Let’s go take a shower before we eat, yeah?”</p>
<p>“You go, I will pick up our stuff.”</p>
<p>Oikawa simply nods.</p>
<p>Lunch is awkward, they both don’t meet each other’s eyes, and they are short with their replies, and it’s filled with an uncomfortable silence, stretched too long, because Oikawa looked like he was about to say something, and Ushijima kept expecting it, but it never came and maybe he was disappointed. Afternoon passes quickly, and when evening rolls over, it’s still as bad as before.</p>
<p>They end up looking around the stores and buy some things for themselves, and they both secretly buy a thing for the other without the other realizing and then they avoid each other as they leave their stuff at the hotel to go back on another stroll after cleaning up properly.</p>
<p>They end up going to the rocks and climbing past them to reach the alcove there. There's crabs and lobsters, and starfish in the shallow water and suddenly oikawa is super intrigued and slips up, the awkwardness dissipates into thin air, and Ushijima is glad for it. He sits on the sand and watches as Oikawa acts like a child on Christmas dancing amidst the shallow water and it’s little creatures. Ushijima sighs and smiles, and does his best to admire Oikawa from a distance, hands still wishing he was touching, lips wondering when he could taste every inch of his skin, and he is slapped awake by a gush of water that Oikawa splashes on him.</p>
<p>“Be the doer, not the thinker, Waka.” He chuckled as he started running as soon  as Ushijima stepped into the water with every intent to get Oikawa wet. </p>
<p>Ushijima managed to catch Oikawa, and he grabbed him, picked him up and then threw them both into the water, getting them both wet. Their laughter is loud and their hands are uncaring, so is their mind.</p>
<p>The sun, starts to set behind them, and when they both rise from the water, Oikawa stares at the taller, as the water droplets fall down between their eyes and suddenly they are too close, the sky is too pink, and maybe it's not the sky’s colour that paints their skins before Oikawa is leaning in and has both his hands wrapped around Wakatoshi’s neck, and Ushijima’s hands are wrapped around Tooru’s waist, and their lips are centimetres away, and then they are not.</p>
<p>Their eyes are closed and their lips are sealed, and their breathing is laboured and the water is gushing around their waists and the sun is slowly going down giving them the privacy they deserved. The kiss lasts nearly a minute, neither having the courage to pull back or face each other, and suddenly they realize how much they want to say, “I love you.” And they realize this was going to happen before, much before, but it was masked with insecurity and anxiety and worry, and this time it’s not, it feels natural, like it's meant to be. Like this is what it was all about, this moment, this kiss, this night right here.</p><hr/>
<p>They pull apart and look away, awkward in their movements as Oikawa sneezes after pulling apart, cold from the sun’s disappearance, “Room? Yeah.” Ushijima manages to mumble. They walk in silence, with their bodies drifting way too close to each other, shoulders bumping, and cheeks reddened,and steps meek and small.</p>
<p>It’s dinner time when they finally look back into each other’s eyes. </p>
<p>After showering and cleaning up, still looking over the other, almost avoiding each other after that kiss. God what was that about, they think as they give each other side eyed glances unknown to the other, managing to avoid each other glances long enough. </p>
<p>Ushijima breaks the silence first, “Do you want to go get dinner? The hotel has a beachside open resto.”</p>
<p>Oikawa simply nodded as he looked at Ushijima finally. Both of their cheeks were still red, the kiss replaying in front of their eyes over and over again.</p>
<p>Dinner is filled with chatter about obnoxious superficial things, but both of them are heartfelt, and want to talk and it’s a simple realization that this was a long affair, one which they had been party to for so long, but somehow had managed to not be aware of.</p>
<p>Then it’s quiet, and then it’s not, “I have to tell you something.” They both say simultaneously. Chuckling with embarrassed grins.</p>
<p>“You say.”</p>
<p>“No you do.”</p>
<p>“Please go on.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine you say.”</p>
<p>And this goes on for two whole minutes before they decide on saying this after they go back to the beach shop to grab a bowl of shaved ice. They nod in unison and later Ushijima pays their bill and they somehow decide, Oikawa thinks holding hands in the dark road towards the shop wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.</p>
<p>But it takes a barking dog in the dark to make Oikawa actually cling to Ushijima, who doesn’t shrug Oikawa away, instead tightening his hands around him, whispering that nothing was happening, it was fine, it was just a dog. Oikawa knows, but he didn’t want to let go.</p>
<p>On their way back Ushijima holds Oikawa’s hand only because he wants to and ‘no one is seeing.’ And if that made Oikawa’s cheeks redden, well, nobody could prove his cheeks were red in the dark anyway.</p>
<p>They walk back to the room, standing apart in the elevator, but once they got off on the floor and they dashed towards the room. It’s a childish race to see who’d win, and the obvious answer is Ushijima, but instead he lets Oikawa win, and gloat over it.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, Tooru-sama.” Ushijima mumbled, opening the door. And letting them both in. </p>
<p>And then their breaths are tense and hard and their mouths are closed, unspeaking as they both go in two directions. Ushijima decides to go to the washroom first and then when he comes out Oikawa is drinking water, undressed and starting to wear his pajamas.</p>
<p>Ushijima didn't mind as he went and sat down on his bed. </p>
<p>“Wait for me, i will be back.”</p>
<p>Ushijima nodded.</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“How long has it been since we’ve been on the other side of the net?”</p>
<p>“Six years.”</p>
<p>“And how much of it have we spent quarrelling?”</p>
<p>“Six of them.”</p>
<p>“And how many years have we secretly wished to have the other by our side?”</p>
<p>“I've wished this for 3 years now.”</p>
<p>“I see. And how many of it have you wished to kiss me?”</p>
<p>“None.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“None. I started to wish I could kiss you when I saw you at the gates of my school, when I imagined you’d come to rub salt into my wounds.”</p>
<p>“I was genuinely trying to console you.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>Oikawa sighed. “This is stupid. I'm going to say this.”</p>
<p>Ushijima nodded.</p>
<p>“I like you. And I liked the kiss.”</p>
<p>“I suppose yes,  the feeling is mutual.”</p>
<p>“Shuddup! Oh my god, that was my first kiss. And it was with a giant brute like you. Why are your lips so soft, what the hell?”</p>
<p>“Well, it was my first too. And I use honey butter chapstick. They are my favorite.”</p>
<p>“No shut up before I choke you.” Oikawa says throwing a pillow at Ushijima’s head. “It really was your first? So you’ve never kissed any of those cheerleaders at school? Or those girls who I’ve heard would often ask you out?”</p>
<p>“I could ask the same of you. You had girlfriends right? Then how come you’ve never shared a kiss with them.”</p>
<p>“I lied. I have fangirls, but… I never felt like kissing them.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“Don’t sound so passive!”</p>
<p>“That was a surprised sound, not passiveness.” </p>
<p>“Make it believable.”</p>
<p>“I am not aware how to do that.”</p>
<p>“Something more like, ’Oh the great Oikawa-sama hasn’t kissed anyone before! Waahh!!’ or something.”</p>
<p>“Sounds pretentious.”</p>
<p>“You are pretentious.”</p>
<p>“Earlier when I was kissing you, you didn’t call me pretentious.”</p>
<p>“Geh!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Oikawa threw another pillow at Ushijima. The night had started sweet, and it continued to be. It was well-past midnight now, they had been talking for over two hours at this point.</p>
<p>Oikawa stood up from his bed and ushered Ushijima to the side. Ushijima slipped away and Oikawa relaxed next to him. Ushijima put his hand under Oikawa’s head and rested his other hand over Oikawa’s waist. Oikawa flipped onto his other side to stare at Ushijima. “You accompanied me to make mistakes right?”</p>
<p>“That happens to be part of the agreement we made in the beginning.”</p>
<p>“Then shut up and kiss me, and kiss me like you mean it.”</p>
<p>“Wasn’t the kiss earlier feeling like I meant it?” </p>
<p>Oikawa doesn’t answer, instead choosing to press his lips to Ushijima’s lips.</p>
<p>Oikawa pulls back turns on the bedside lamp. “Sit up, sit up.” He says as he sits to the side, and once Ushijima sits up, he straddles Ushijima and takes his hands and puts them on his waist. “Your hands are free to go anywhere, I tried really hard to stop myself when you were on me before, but I really love your hands on me.” Oikawa says, still embarrassed but he was more needy than anything.</p>
<p>Ushijima nodded and complied. “I wanted to touch your skin some more, and I wanted to kiss every inch of your skin too.”</p>
<p>He pulled Oikawa into a chaste kiss and Oikawa keened at the warmth of Ushijima’s breath on his cheek, and the taste of salt of Ushijima’s mouth on his.</p>
<p>Ushijima kissed him harder and sighed when Oikawa returned it with similar force.</p>
<p>Ushijima licked over his bottom lip and Oikawa opened his mouth to allow Ushijima more of him. He happily licked into Oikawa’s mouth. Collecting more of him in his arms, Oikawa was on his lap, but it wasn’t enough.</p>
<p>Oikawa keened at Ushijima’s actions, he was pressed completely into his chest and his mouth was transferring heat with a passion. Oikawa was content, but somehow, the burning in his chest wasn’t enough. He wanted to burn fully. He wanted the fire to consume him wholly.</p>
<p>He pushed his fingers through Ushijima’s hair, pulling them hard. Ushijima moaned, eyes shut and the bliss from his responsive face left Oikawa wanting more. He pulled back and opened his eyes to see the lust blown eyes and swollen lips, and it was enough temptation to dive back in, headfirst. He kissed hard, open mouthed, uncouth, and foul. He kissed vigorously and indecently. Ushijima moaned and hummed and the feeling aroused something within him, he wanted to give Oikawa his all, and wanted everything back in return.</p>
<p>“Waka, I want this. Please.” Oikawa whined.</p>
<p>Ushijima is no match to his pouty, swollen lips and lust-blown stormy hazel eyes.</p>
<p>“I want this too, Tooru. I want this so bad.” Ushijima whispers against his mouth, before meshing their lips again, repeatedly.</p>
<p>They help each other remove every article of clothing between them and Ushijima is greedy, his lips roll along every plane of skin his eyes can reach, not waiting to catch his breath, gasping as he kisses more of it, as he could see.</p>
<p>“We have all the time on earth, Waka. Don’t kill yourself just yet.” Oikawa muttered, laughing softly.</p>
<p>Ushijima laughs kissing him back. He turns them over. Looking at a very naked and enticing Tooru didn’t seem like such a great idea. He was sporting a semi but he was rapidly getting hard at the sight of Oikawa’s innocent little body, covered in scars from games and bruises from his lips, and all his prospects out to see, he was truly beautiful.</p>
<p>Tooru gawked at how muscular Ushijima really was, he had washboard abs, and his pecs were lick-worthy. His arms were so huge and they felt bulging under his usual silken shirts and ridiculous track-suits, but this was unearthly and a dream. Tooru truly thought how Ushijima could just pick him up and fuck him against any of the room’s walls. The mental image did not help his ‘hard’ case.</p>
<p>Oikawa whined and Ushijima realized he was taking too much time. He quickly moves to the bedside to grab something liquid, any lotion or anything he could find. He leans on top of Oikawa, and kisses him sweetly. Tooru grinds against Ushijima’s hard groin. The friction felt nice, foreign, unlike his hand, but nice and Tooru moaned into the kiss, he groaned when Ushijima’s now wet hand moved down and pressed into his hard cock. A humming in his neck is a mark of approval for Ushijima. He jerked Oikawa off a little, he did know how to jack off and from the look on Oikawa’s face, he sure was enjoying it.</p>
<p>He then slowly inches his fingers to Oikawa’s ass, touching his perineum before he circled his rim. He slowly enters one finger and Oikawa instinctively clenches, Ushijima has to whisper into his ear before he unclenches, but not  before breathing out a huff.</p>
<p>The two of them realized that Oikawa was noisy and Ushijima was way too silent. Ushijima with permission slowly pokes in another one and starts scissoring and Tooru’s rim opens up to adjust. The wet heat was vice and Ushijima wanted it more. Such sexual acts felt wonderful to him. He found pleasure in his humility and nakedness.</p>
<p>Tooru was no different. He has not had the privilege of sexing with anyone, he is feeling overwhelmed with how much he enjoyed this. Tooru whines in a high pitch when Ushijima takes too long to lube himself up. Tooru gets up from his resting position and pushes Wakatoshi down.</p>
<p>“I will show you how it’s done. Apparently, you know nothing.” Tooru smirks. He snatches the lubing lotion from him and pushes Ushi onto some pillows, crawling towards him like a cat, and Ushijima all but comes. Toru crawls up to his lap, planting himself over there and pours a good amount of lotion onto his palm and slowly jerks Wakatoshi off, allowing the lotion to spread everywhere, he also, unnecessarily tugs at Wakatoshi’s balls and squeezes his cock before jerking it some more.</p>
<p>This was new for Ushijima, and he groans loudly, loving the feeling of Oikawa’s dainty fingers and soft palm working them on him. No words are shared between them, but the moans and hitched breathes are words enough. Oikawa spreads his legs wider as he moves a bit forward and guides Ushijima’s cock towards his hole. Both of them moan as Tooru slowly slips it in and tries to move down in tow with it. However, he cannot because it is so overwhelming and it is Ushijima and his hands are on his hips and he is holding onto Waka’s shoulder now and Ushijima respects his boundaries, and insists on not pushing his limits.</p>
<p>Oikawa is finally allowing Ushijima in and all Ushijima can do is wait, wait for Tooru to guide him through it, do as he pleases and not be worried about someone else’s pleasure. His senses are in overdrive, filled with lust and he wants to push Tooru down and fuck him white, but he cannot, he wills himself to stop. When Tooru bottoms out finally Ushijima’s arms wind around Tooru’s and Tooru’s fingers wind up in Ushijima’s hair, another hand around the back of his neck. Tooru is crying from the pain and the pleasure of being so full, this feeling being so foreign, but he manages to grinds down gently, but he feels so full right now, so fucking full and he wants to move, but fuck, Ushijima is inside him and it is so wide and so long and it is Ushijima, and he loves ushijima and somewhere within him he knows, it is returned.</p>
<p>The moment is over and Tooru’s is a moaning mess as Ushijima attacks him with his lips on his nipples, slightly sucking and his hands on his hips caressing softly, encouraging him to move and Tooru does slowly, moving up and down, left right, in figure eights and slow.  Ushijima hums around his left nipple and Tooru moans at the feeling of being full with Ushijima while simultaneously giving him just as much if not more pleasure. His nipple was red and swollen as Ushijima pulled off with a pop. His wish to kiss every inch of Oikawa’s skin being fulfilled.</p>
<p>Tooru moved faster. Ushijima supported him with equal force, pushing up into his heat, Tooru was whining, and Ushijima turned them over as he fucked into him, harder and faster. “More! Gimme all of you.” Tooru moaned out as Ushijima grabbed both of Tooru’s hands that had started touching himself, and pushed them over his head and held onto them.</p>
<p>Tooru’s mouth was open in a silent scream as Ushijima attacked his prostate with hard thrusts in the perfect rhythm he had built, not once did his hips stutter as he attacked Tooru’s insides like a hungry predator.</p>
<p>Tooru’s voice stuttered and his breath hitched when Ushijima folded him in two to fuck him better, the earlier assault felt meagre in front of the oncoming move. Tooru writhed under Ushijima, loving it beyond himself.</p>
<p>Ushijima freed Tooru’s arms and his immediate reaction was to put them behind Ushijima’s neck and pull himself up where he could kiss him. It was a bite and punch together, it was bruising and heated and filled with passion. Tooru Looked into Ushijima’s wild ones and the thrust that he received in that moment was enough to send him overboard. Ushijima came just then, filling Tooru up. Tooru was warm and fuzzy and happy. Something within both of them clicked as they lost posture and fell on to the bed a jumble of bones. </p>
<p>Ushijima held Tooru close to his chest, nosing at his hair, sniffing him. When suddenly, Tooru started crying. Ugly sobs, wails, and snot filled sniffling. Ushijima worriedly pulled Tooru’s chin to stare into his eyes and try to understand why he was crying. Tooru looked up with bright eyes that were hazy and he buried himself in the warmth of Ushijima’s chest. Ushijima held him close. </p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Bodies melted into each other, sounds knocked off the thin walls, and tears slipped into the sheets along with more. There’s laughs and cries, and there's screams of pain and pleasure mixed. There's Hard breathing, heart beating, and blood rushing in their heads. There’s only sticky skins, and awkward movements and when they are finally through there’s a happy pain which neither wanted to forget anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Oikawa wondered to himself once they sat withdrawn from each other, lying in each other’s arms, but minds drifting away, ‘When we were staring at each other - raw and honest and completely exposed - I realised I was a fool for thinking [hoping] that this could be more than it ever was. When you were sat there, bare, exposed, vulnerable, I still prayed that it would be more than just my eyes that got to you. For my heart thumped like a drum and my fingers shivered with the intensity of a million stars all breaking apart together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You sat there, unlooking, unseeing, unhearing, unsaying, what were you thinking of so loudly? Your body didn't hide it. Who did you yearn for? Why was your back crying? I want you to tell me again. I was chasing you for so long and yet when you were just a touch away, I was burdened by my cowardice, hiding behind my devices, I decided to see what you were willing to lose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You told me you wanted something, not knowing what it was, I handed you pain. But it was returned with a greater intensity, since your love always gets me abused. This time I questioned myself, what was I willing to lose?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘There's things that scare me off so much. Your love is one of them, so I want to keep us compromising. I don't want to give into this game, I want you to tell me what defeat will bring. But is it desire? Exposure, vulnerability, bare skins and minds, what's more that I can sacrifice for you? Is this desire or is this love? Will you tell me truthfully, before I run?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He thinks Ushijima read his mind, now that neither of them were crying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Ushijima wanted to say somethings out loud, but he simply stared at Oikawa’s eyes, and thought to himself, ‘All my life you had been on the other side of the net, no matter how hard I tried to get you to be on this, and now as you lie on your back, right next to me, eyes closed and lips parted, breathing so softly, somehow I can't help but realize for how long had I been yearning foolishly; unable to speak up, unable to convey what I feel, and unable to ever show you that you meant more to me than anything in this world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I had hoped I'd be happy with being rivals, but i kept feeling this stupid urge within me to make us more. Have a connection that didn't end with every match we faced each other in. And I hoped... That someday you'll be jumping in my arms instead of his, and I hoped we'd kiss under the lights shining down on us in that stadium.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Oh how I miss those minutes I spent wondering what it'd be like to have you in my arms with a million people watching, would you have shook me away or would you have kissed me anyway? I miss those days you broke my heart with not more than three words and I can't bear the pain of being the only one in love anymore, so please tell me this, "hey you, I love you too."’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the morning comes too early, with no words shared, but each of them has a smile, as if they both know that the other was in pain, and they had the medicine to it, but they didn’t share it just yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They drive back home in silence, the windows rolled down and the radio playing songs that fit the mood, love was in the air, but the words weren’t and there were shy touches and glances, but no knowledge yet, and there was a vague idea of the gravity of them, and in that summer afternoon, they both just wanted to say I love you.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was mid of summer, the evening came with a promise of fun. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Summer festivals were way too romantic for those who were scared to admit that they were in love and even then that unspoken bond brought them together to that shrine where they first were vulnerable. And in the crowd they are unafraid to hold hands, and share treats, and there’s nothing they could do to escape how much they loved each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The night in the hotel is a memory they recreate several times, and everytime it's special, but then they hide back, and they never say what they want to say. And tonight seemed to be going in the same direction till it isn't. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Late into the evening, they are sitting at their spot, the one they found past the shrine’s back and there is no one there as always. And when the first firework shoots up into the sky, Tooru turns to Ushijima and says, “I hope you know I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you know it’s been mutual all this while.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They kiss into the signs of dusk, and there’s fireworks in their hearts and in the sky, and it’s love that paints the sky.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The art was by https://thegreencarousel.tumblr.com/, go check them out! </p>
<p>Leave a comment, a kudos and some love!</p>
<p>Love,<br/>M.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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